Guard the Heart

(written by Jennifir)

Proverbs 4:23

Guard your heart above all else,

for it determines the course of your life.

I sit on my couch. I walk the lake. I loiter at the laundry mat yawning. I drive to work. I sit at the coffee shop. I talk to people. I text. I go to church. All the while as I do all these things Proverbs 4:23 keeps coming to mind. As I interact with people. I realize there's a lot to this short, yet profound verse. God is teaching me through hard knocks what guarding my heart really means. First and foremost with men. I must guard my heart. I must be careful of the decisions I make where men are concerned. It could be the matter of one bad decision and I have messed up a part of God's plan for me. But God is not just telling me to guard my heart with men. He's telling me to guard my heart with all who I encounter throughout my life. I need to really look at the influence anyone has on me. Really look. Open my eyes. Ask God to remove the scales from my eyes. Look at the fine print. It may be a small word, a decision I see them make. Granted, there are bad decisions we all make, but it is when they are unrepentant decisions that I must watch. It is so important to walk circumspectly. (Ephesians 5:15). Sit back and observe. Be slow to anger, slow to speak. (James 1:19) I am trying to learn to sit back, be patient. Just observe. Watch for the fruit. Really know what it is to watch for the fruit. (Matthew 7:15-20).

With all this, God is showing me how to guard my heart. By not speaking more than necessary, by not exposing my heart more than necessary, I am guarding it. By going to Him with every decision before making it, I am guarding my heart. (Proverbs 3:5-6). By stepping back on the side bench I can see more than if I were in the middle. Watch and know what's going on before I am called in. Don't let bad decisions distract me as I sit on the sidelines. As I wait upon the Lord to reveal the next step to me. There is so much temptation. So many decisions to be faced. It can be so overwhelming. Sometimes the enemy keeps me so busy I have no time to really contemplate what I should be doing next. I recognize this tactic as I sit quietly in a coffee house. I ask God to help me have the discernment to see when the enemy is doing it during my busy moments. I continually ask God for discernment. I get confused and am learning to just still still with my Bible open. Go straight to God's word. He'll send me just where I need to be. He is so awesome. I do love how He works. I am also grateful for the godly Christians He has surrounded me with who have clarity and discernment. Hold me accountable.

I realized the past couple of weeks I have reach a new level in my growth. I have grown a little closer to God. To Jesus Christ, my most amazing precious savior. He showed me the other day as I walked the lake. God loves to speak to me there. Through the water, the trees, the geese. A few weeks ago, I had seen a family of geese, the babies were so little and trusting. I have been in Psalm 91 since. On Tuesday, I was walking again and I saw the same family. The geese were no longer little babies. They were still young, their feathers still the yellowish color they were a few weeks ago. They had grown some. I am like those geese. Growing up slowly but surely, under the watchful eyes of my Daddy! Thank you Jesus for loving me so much you hold me close to you during my growth. The growing pains can be excruciating at times!

So, as I write this, I think of Proverbs 4:23. And what it means for me. Guard my heart. Guard it with the right decisions as best I can. Be very careful of those decisions. If I am unclear even after prayer, do not move forward, it means I have not received my answer yet. God is amazing. And I need to learn to be patient. He is teaching me. He is guiding me. He is watching over me. I will continue to ask God to help guard my heart in all areas and relationships. And sometimes, the armor can be so tight it is uncomfortable, but it is better than the alternative. God has a plan for me and I so desire to do what it is He has asked me to do. I am His obedient daughter. I am forever grateful for His love. He amazes me constantly. Every moment of the day, every second. I choose to follow Jesus!!

Break the Noise

(A Song by Tabitha Scott)

I've been too loud
For far too long
But while I'm weak
My Lord, You're strong
I've felt Your silence
Wear me thin
Reach to me, Lord
Bring me home again

(Chorus):
Lord, wipe me clean
Break through the noise
Dispel my wrath
Quiet my voice
Let me never speak again
Should it be sin
Hold me close now
Replace iniquity with peace

Repenitent heart
Brought to its knees
Faithfully confessed
And now I'm free
Once more I'm Yours
And Lord, You are mine
This battles over
And I'm alive

(Repeat Chorus)

I've been too loud
Now for far too long.

It's all about the Geese

(written by Jennifir)

Psalm 91:4

He will cover you with his feathers.

He will shelter you with his wings.

His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

I can't get the image of the baby goose peaking from above his daddy's wing, watching cautiously all around him. His brother frolicked in a puddle nearby, the rain poured so hard it came down in pelts...the thunder roared and the lightening flashed. I couldn't help but think of Psalm 91:4 as I watched both of them. One was fearful of the rain and ran right to the refuge of his daddy as I should do when I become fearful. My Daddy in heaven will cover me with His wings. He will be my refuge. I want to obey and not be so fearful and know as the frolicking goose knew that he was being watched over as he frolicked. As I watched both of them, I realized I want to be less fearful and be more like the frolicking goose. I want to not be afraid to step out in faith and obey no matter the dangers because God is watching over me. Anytime I tried to get near to take pictures, the daddy did its bleating noise. I need to trust in God more. That no matter what He asks me to do I should not be afraid. He wants to use me and I want to be used, but I can't be afraid. He has my hand. He will not let go. I am underneath His wing whether I am so close I can hear His heart beat or I am working for Him and it feels I am not close although I am. And I can always run straight to Him. I was reading in 2 Peter 1:5-11 and the verse that spoke of supplementing my faith really hit me. In order to obey to have self-control, have patient endurance, share brotherly, sisterly love, I must have action in my faith. And trust that Daddy has my back when I am working for him.

God really is so amazing. He sent Jesus here to die for me. There is nothing He won't forgive me for. He wants to use me and I want to be used. I choose to follow Him and I choose to strive to be more like the frolicking baby. I am just a baby in Christ myself and as I grow the stronger my faith becomes. I stand firm in my faith more and more each day as He guides me, teaches me, disciplines me, loves me, shelters me. He is always there. I recommend reading the whole Psalm. This is a scary world we live in but there is no need for fear when Jesus is in our heart. When we realize that Jesus has already won. He has overcome the world. All the trials and sorrows we go through will only grow us closer to Him! I rejoice in them. I again can't help but think of John 16:33. I cling to Jesus' words and His promise. I want to frolic under the watchful protection of my Daddy!!!

I love Jesus so much..I am freaky for Jesus. He saved me. He underwent torture, ridicule and he was sinless. He was punished for my sins! I am washed white as snow with his blood. My heart pounds with love and appreciation for what He did for me only because He loves me! That is all. There is nothing I can do to get to heaven except believing and loving him. And I do!!! 2 Peter 1:2 May God give you more and more grace and peace as you grow in your knowledge of God and Jesus our Lord. Amen to that!!!!

I praise God with all my heart and soul...I seek him diligently! Matthew 6:33 and Psalm 37:4! I am forever and eternally the daughter of Jesus Christ my Lord! So, even during the torrential downpours in my life, I will remember that Daddy is watching over me. Even when He's asking me to do things that make no sense and seem impossible and I can barely see through the large droplets, I will be comforted in knowing that He is always there! Always!

God bless my Daddy up in heaven!

times

I can't believe how fast time seems to go. It's as if minutes can drag on so slowly, yet months seem to pass by faster than I can keep track of. What a blessing a single day is. Can you imagine being like an insect that only has a week's life span? Or an even crazier thought, what if we only lasted 24 hours?? I'm so grateful that that is not the case lol. There are so many things that I overlook each day...life being one of them. I really think that each day should be lived out to its' fullest potential for the Lord. But I also really think that's impossible...atleast without the Holy Spirit. But even with Him being alive in me I struggle every day just to spend time with Him. Sometimes I wish I could just be perfect and at peace all the time. I know that won't happen until I'm in Heaven though. But then I realize what a great adventure God is taking me on. And who ever heard of an adventure without pain, heartache, romance, danger, and trials? Life really is such a beautiful mess.

And along with this adventure comes all types of characters. And every one of them so beautiful and unique in their own way. Right now I'm so happy to be in Jupiter seeing all of the friends I made in high school. I really feel like God is just pouring out blessings on me. I'm really going to miss all of them when the time comes to leave. I long for some sort of virtual reality where the people I love are always next door and no one ever leaves. It's a silly wish. Though I look forward to many other people that God will put in my life and heart, I don't look so eagerly forward to the many other goodbyes I'll have to endure. I just hope that everyone I love will end up in Heaven. How much more heartbreaking would it be to say goodbye for eternity...I'm pretty sure I just rhymed haha. But I seriously can't get this subject off of my heart tonight.

"True instruction was in his mouth and nothing false was found on his lips. He walked with me in peace and uprightness, and turned many from sin."--Malachi 2:6

I really hope that one day God will be able to say something like this about me. I know I can't be perfect, or actually turn people from their sins, but I hope that I can atleast plant a seed for Jesus in anyone I meet. I know that that's only possible by allowing the Holy Spirit to work in my life. I just second guess myself so much that every now and then I wonder whether or not I've pushed Him away too far. I don't believe I have though, because I'm reminded that Christ is always with me.

"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."--Matthew 28:20

"His love endures forever."--Psalm 118:1/29

"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens."--Psalm 68:19

"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'"--Hebrews 13:5

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."--Psalm 27:14

I think I want to make a new vow to myself and to God to treat each day as a new opportunity to grow, learn, witness, and take new chances in faith. There's so much left to do and learn and I want to get as much of it crammed into my tiny life as possible before I reach the finish line.

you just never know

(written by Jennifir)

I got up this morning...tired, not wanting to get up really. I woke up thirty minutes later than I planned, but I still found I had an extra fifteen minutes. Funny how God works those things out. I decided I would sit with my coffee and bible and read some. John has been coming to mind a lot lately to read. This morning God told me to read John 16. I did, I love that chapter, but it was the last verse in the chapter that struck me.
John 16:33 I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

I even put it as my status on facebook and twitter and I hardly ever post a status at before six in the morning. I felt compelled. I know that God was telling me read that chapter and post that verse. Someone, including myself, needed that verse. As I read it I got chills. Truly realizing the truth of those words, which came straight from Jesus' lips just fill me with a comfort I cannot describe. As I go through trials in life, as I have been striving to overcome trials and realizing I can only do that with Jesus by my side, I truly begin to grasp that this life is just a vapor. So short and the war has been won. Jesus overcame the world!!! Wow...I need to post this verse all over the place, tattoo it to my hand. A reminder that through all the trials, the battle is won! Yes, the trials draw me closer to Him! I rejoice in my trials as Peter endears us to....we become closer to Christ as we suffer with Christ. 1 Peter 4:12-19. God is always with us during our trials. He may not take them away from me, but He will hold my hand, guide me, love on me. He knows, and I am grateful for this, that without actually walking through those times on my own I would never appreciate my Father up in heaven. He will give me the desires of my heart.

As I read in a book a few months ago, don't settle for that rickety old bike that needs work from a garage sale. Wait for the shiny bran new bicycle. I trust God to deliver on that promise. He will give me my hearts desires as I seek to grow ever and ever closer to Him. I find that my desires change as I grow closer to Him. That my mind is transforming, day by day, as I dig in His word. As I take the time to get to know Him and to just love on Him. And I do! I love my God so much!!!!

So, my whole point is, sometimes I ignore those little nudgings and allow satan to distract me, but this morning, with Christ in me, strong as ever, I pushed Satan's whisperings away and read John 16. God wanted me to share it because there was someone He needed to send a message too. I was given a chance to be touched and used by God at the same time. He is soooo very amazing!!!

Poem

(A Poem by Tabitha Scott)

Sudden Release

I never knew anger had a taste.
Vile and passionate
Dripping down your tongue
And ravaging and laying waste
Within your soul.

Fear has a flavor even stronger.
Fierce and colorful
Nauseatingly cold and savage
Bringing out your fight or flight
Until you fold.

Sorrow tastes like salty water
Riptide crashing
All around and waves rising
Falling and threatening to drag you
Down under tow.

Self hatred becomes a good
And welcome respite
From all the irritating failures
And disgusting flaws highlighted
From the crowd.

Disgust furrows out to feast
Upon sanity
Or the pieces you have left
Until it slowly begins to lighten
Up your load.

Then peace and joy come in
You are rescued
And given milk and honey off
The fork of He who came to save
On earth below.

Going from strongholds to the one and only cornerstone!

I stand on the bank of a murky lake. The air is crisp. There is a slight mist and light clouds blanket a lake that is full of the unknown. Almost foreboding, scary. A lake that is waiting to swallow me up forever. It is so beautiful and alluring at the same time. I stand there, gazing at the mountains on the other side. A cross. The promise of one who loves me so much He came here to be tortured, die and rise again for my sins. I can go across the lake to Jesus but there is no straight shot. It is a journey. It is not easy. But He can remain my focus. There is a way. A path. It winds around the lake. There are rocks in some places, hills, smooth walking. Even places to sit and rest and enjoy the beauty around me. Places to simply worship and praise! I became discouraged as I stared longingly across the lake. It will take too long, to much work to get there, or at least that's what my human wordily, sinful nature argues. And as I glance at my feet I see a rope tied around both ankles which are attached to big bricks. Enter in my first stronghold. The ties that bind me to the world, to sin, to negative thinking that hold me down and threaten to drown me if I were to allow my sinful nature to win and jump into that lake where I will only sink to the bottom.

I have been struggling. The battle has been raging ever so much more the past few weeks. I know in my heart this means God is working on something. Sometimes it is so hard to remember this. A liberating fact! God is opening my eyes, making me aware of some of my strongholds. As I have finally obeyed and looked down at my feet and see that I am tied to my strongholds, I realize I must cut those ties. If I do, my Christian walk will not necessarily get easier, I will just suffer more joyously, if that makes any sense. I had to admit that these strongholds were real and the knots so tight there was no way I could cut the ties on my own. I have to see that pride is holding me down. My bricks. I cannot be so prideful that I am not willing to ask God for help and to go to those in our family of Christ for help. God uses them to clarify things at times. He uses their experiences to relate to me. At first, as I glance at my feet, I can't help feel the urge to jump into the lake. I was so tired. Another battle. Oh gosh. It would be easier to stop fighting. I felt so helpless and hopeless. God said no...you are not jumping in that lake. I have too many plans for you. Look at yourself. Then I will help you. It a painful process, just looking at myself. I didn't like a lot of what I saw. It is a process that has me clinging to my Redeemer all that much more. He probably has finger marks where I have clung to him so desperately.

I realized that I need His help. I went to Him humbly, I asked him to show me my strongholds. To cut the ties. To guide me. All the while the enemy gets angrier and angrier and begins throwing arrows at me from all directions. I cried out in desperation, as some arrows make huge dents and shake me to the very core even as I wear my armor. As I lost my footing some of the time. Each time my Father held my hand...He never let go. He tucked me under His protective wings and took some of the blows for me. He lifted me up each time I was knocked over. He also let me see the arrow so that I may recognize it next time. Let me tell you, some of those arrows are painful to look at because they drip with sugar. They appear harmless, yet they are the most deadly. They are aimed for the jugular.

God starts whispering His promises in my ear. He tells me, go to my Word! This is your sword. My Word will cut the ties. My Word will shred the rope so that it is no longer usable. My Word will sour the sugar. I prayed. I sat quietly in my living room with two of my bibles, a notebook, a pen, and a cup of coffee. And the verses kept coming. Verses that pointed to not a stronghold, but a cornerstone. A rock. A savior. JESUS CHRIST! Verses that told me what to do in battle, prepare for battle, a reminder of who IS victorious. As I begin to look at these verses and read them aloud, I realize that strongholds are a weapon of the enemy. He uses them to hit the jugular, to take us out of the game. To leave us lame in our witness for Jesus. He uses strongholds to steal, kill, and destroy. If we are not prepared and are afraid to face the truth he may get in a hit or two. Until God comes and holds tight to us and gives us His sword. But we must get into His Word. We must read it.

I turn to Isaiah 61:1 and realize that "The Lord is upon me...". He whispers His word in my ear. He promises me that He is not only going to heal my wounds but He is going to set me free! This alone makes me stand up a little straighter. God loves me so much no matter what I have done, He still wants to set me free!

2 Chronicles 20:15-19: I get chills as I read these verses. How liberating it is to realize that this battle is not mine! It is God's! All I need to do is stand firm and praise Him as I watch Him fight on my behalf! He loves me that much!

Jeremiah 46:3-4, 10 and Ephesians 6:10-18: He tells me that although I need not to fight, I must still prepare as if I were going to fight. Be prepared and stand firm. And remember that this is a spiritual battle. I do not fight flesh and blood, but the powers of the darkness. If I remind myself of this each time someone hurts me, it makes it so much easier to forgive and cut the tie of bitterness and anger. All God wants is for us to turn to Him, be prepared with His full armor and stand firm in our faith in Him. He has already won! Amen to that!!!

Ephesians 5:15: I also must keep my eyes open and be aware of my surroundings so that I may see those arrows way before they get near me. So I may hold up the shield of faith and ward them off.

Then God whispers in my ear again with promises that this battle is not in vain. That He does have a plan for me. Jeremiah 29:11-13, but I must seek Him. Matthew 6:33. He promises me that He will cause all things to work together for good for those who love God. Romans 8:28. I can take the huge battle of strongholds and God can use me to help someone with some of the same strongholds. It makes rejoice in my trials. It makes them worth all the pain. I realize that they are not in vain because they can be used to relate to the lost, or used as a balm to heal someone who is broken.

God reminds me who the victor is with a loud shout so the enemy hears as well! He sends me to Revelation 20:7-10. I read aloud these verses. I remind satan he is thrown into the lake of fire forever and ever. Amen to that! Jesus is the victor! He is a mighty warrior fighting for the love of His life. His bride. His people.

Jesus replaces my stronghold. He is my rock, my cornerstone, my foundation. God reinforces this amazing promise throughout His Word. Here are a few He sent me to this morning.

Zechariah 10:4
Isaiah 28:16
Ephesians 2:19-21
1 Peter 2:4-6
Psalm 118:14
Psalm 118:22 and this one is repeated in the New testament as well: Matthew 21:42, Mark 12:10-11, Luke 20:17, and Acts 4:11


All I can say is wow! Jesus is the cornerstone of my faith. It is on Him I build my life. It breaks my heart to know He was once rejected. He above all people knows what rejection feels like. He can relate to me. I ask God to cut my ties to worldly strongholds so that I may truly focus on Him. So that there is nothing shadowing my walk with Him. It is a painful process, a purification process really. It is no easy task to stand firm and stare at oneself in the mirror. To see the blemishes that need to be removed. It is an inner battle. A battle that will grow me closer to the Lord.

I realize that as the strongholds are removed, a new, clean, pure brick of strength will replace it with Jesus as the foundation. The very cornerstone of my life here on earth and eternally. I ask Him to hold me while I cry, to never let go of my hand as He at times needs to surgically remove rotten branches from this tree. It is a lifelong process of revelation, seeing, removing, healing, rebuilding with the proper tools. I praise God for his unconditional love! That He is willing to take the time to meticulously set this captive free!!!

Praise God!!!