Step from behind that bush already!

(Written by Jennifir)

This morning as I listened to Pastor Matt Pruett preach, he said something that struck a chord deep in my heart. Worship of God is the bottom line. There are so many ways to worship our Father. Prayer, praise, song, writing, helping others. Stepping out of our comfort zone as I did last night. I stood in front of a roomful of people, knees knocking and a microphone in my hand. I did learn that I need one of those hand less microphones. I tend to speak with my hands. I began to speak and the nervousness began to dissipate. I thanked Jesus for the fact there was no stage and my first speaking gig was in front of a small group, only around thirty to forty. I spent all week preparing mentally, digging in God's word. Finding verses that encouraged and empowered me as I was about to move to a new level in my spiritual growth. As I was about to truly obey and step out of my comfort zone.

I have been in Romans 8 all week. Praying these words to the Lord. Really chewing on them. Truly realizing that Christ IS in me and this is how I will be able to tell my story. To open the door to my heart in all its messiness to people I know and didn't know alike. To people who only knew the happy face of Jennifir. For the couple of weeks before I had been in Galatians 5 especially verse 16 where Paul advises us to let the Holy Spirit guide our lives. I took this to heart. I prayed and prayed and asked the Holy Spirit to guide me. To use me to tell my story in order to glorify Jesus. This is a very important and special form of praise for me. Glorifying Jesus in how He is the hero of my story! Jesus is my hero! He saved me...He pulled my feet from the net of sin. From the web of satan's lies and deceit. Psalm 144:7! Jesus rescued me from death and set me into His family. He wrote my name in the lamb's book of life and promised me eternal life. John 3:16.

And so as I prepared for my debut as a speaker in a matter that is utmost in my heart I really began to dig and dig. Only God could provide the answers and encouragement I needed. He showed me to follow the Spirit in Romans 8:4. In Romans 8:9-11 He encouraged me with words that comforted me greatly. I would not be alone. Christ is in me. The Lord showed me that if the same Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead lived in me then there was nothing I could not do because that Spirit is in me. It is that Spirit, Christ, who would provide the strength. The words. Even the appearance of nerves of steal! And of course there is Philippians 4:13. A very dear friend encouraged me with 2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. (NLT). This is a very good verse. God does not want us afraid. He wants us full of His power in order to obey Him. And He gives us self-discipline to do the studying and take the time to get close to Him to hear exactly what it is He wants us to do and say. It was a new way for me to lean on the Lord this week.

I have leaned on Him in times of heartache but not in a time of growth and excitement. A time of a chance to squeeze out the sponge of me all that I have taken in in my extreme thirst for all that is Jesus! What an exciting and honorable thing Jesus has given me! I love Him so. And so I read through and clung to all these verses and more as the day, the night, the hour came closer that I would step across the threshold of my comfort zone. I won't lie I spent most of my day looking for the perfect outfit. I wanted to look nice, but be comfortable as well. I was representing the King of Kings! The Lord of Lords! My husband! Isaiah 54:5!

And so I gave my testimony last night, Saturday night for amazing people. For the mother of Tonya Hunts funeral expenses. She passed away unexpectedly last month. I was honored to do something for them, to help them. To give back to people who have been living witnesses to me before and after my salvation. And it is only God appointed at it came to happen. One of my closest and dearest friends in Christ. Someone who I have a shared vision with Tabitha to develop Freaky For Jesus into an amazing ministry asked me to share my testimony at a show he would be playing. I asked him what church and he told me, Spirit and Truth Baptist Church. I asked him if it was in an old dentist office in Clyde. He told me, yes. I told him, I work with people who go there. I asked him what it was for and he said a benefit for Bill Robinson then he told me for Tonya and Aaron's mom and I was floored and knew that God was slapping me in the face with this opportunity. There was no way I could say no to this although I had said yes, the minute Keil had asked. I had already told him a few weeks earlier that I felt called to speak although the idea of it scared me half to death. Keil didn't know I had any kind of connection with them. And Keil works for the pastor of Spirit and Truth. It was no accident how all that came about. God set all of that up. All in all, over 800 dollars was raised and I pray that was enough. Tonya had to leave work in order to stay home and care for her father. Isn't God just amazing!!

As I tuck that rabbit back into its proper place after chasing it, I will return to my story, my little testimony of the first time I shared the testimony of my salvation. I was so scared. Standing in front of people, exposing the most delicate part of me, my heart, is no easy thing to do. It leaves me vulnerable. Yet I knew and have known for some time the Lord was going to call me to share my story in a scarier venue then the Internet. On the Internet I was in my comfort zone. Hidden from all eyes as I conveyed my story of how Jesus made a difference in my life.

I think back on Saturday night as I sit here. Now in hindsight I picture myself with the microphone in my hand, afraid I may accidentally turn it off, I recall how Adam and Eve hid from God once they realized there was such a thing as not being in a comfort zone. Genesis 3:8-10. They hid because they were naked. Because of sin now in the picture, they knew fear and exposure. They covered themselves up and hid. Found a comfort zone behind the trees. The Internet is my trees. The Lord said it is time for you to show yourself. Expose your heart for me. To glorify me. It is scary to expose one self in such a way. I was given the advice as Saturday night loomed ever closer and closer, to picture my audience as naked. Instead, I felt naked. And I opened the door to my heart and gave all that I had to the people listening. And let me say I didn't dread it, I was very excited because I was being given a chance to be used by God in a powerful way. A way that I would have to prove my dedication and love for Him. That despite my fears I loved Him so much, I would push past my fears and ask Him for his help and guidance in order to glorify Him. Praise Him! I feel that the Lord felt more genuine praise and love pouring from my human, sinful heart than if I had just sat in my room by myself and told my story. Going the extra mile is an act of worship and I was overjoyed, yet with wobbly knees to do it! He knew what it took for me to obey and worship Him in such a way. I can see Him smiling down at me, a proud Papa as I obeyed what the Lord asks all of us to do in Romans 10:9-17!

I praise Jesus with all my heart!! I am so in love with Jesus I am beside myself! He truly is all I need! I seek Him diligently. And as I grow closer and closer to Him I am finding that His desires are becoming my desires! Psalm 37:4! Amen to that!!!

God bless all who read this!!!